An incredible blessing

Have been away for a few days because I am caring for an elderly friend 24/5 and have been too busy and/or too tired to even think about writing. So my postings may be somewhat erratic for a while. It is impossible to say how long. Only God knows. To be privileged to be there when needed is truly a gift, to me that is. An incredible blessing that gives purpose to one's life, it is also a way to give back for all the wonderful things that have been given me. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Forgiveness

Have been doing some thinking about forgiveness. Sometimes it is easy. Maybe someone insults you or is rude to you or says something that hurts your feelings. You get over it and forgive them because you love them, they are your friend or co-worker or your boss or for whatever reason. Maybe you realize that they really didn't mean what they said or they didn't know that it would hurt you. They were just being sarcastic; that's their style of humor.  Life will be easier if you forgive and forget, so you do.

Sometimes it is not so easy, but you manage it over time. Maybe someone told a lie and a friendship was broken. You want to forgive this someone because you are close and you do not know how. But you need to forgive this person so you act as though you have. You do not say anything and go on as if nothing had happened. In time, and it could take years, many years, but the forgiveness comes. It is a lightening of the heart, a whisper across the soul...gone... free.

Then again, there are times when forgiving seems impossible. How do you forgive when someone crushes your lifelong dream? How do you forgive someone who corrupts the goodness of another's soul out of greed or a need to control? When someone whom you have believed to be a lifelong friend gives their word and then denies it. You know you have to forgive, for the sake of your own soul. So you can be forgiven for your own sins. But how? What if this person continues to treat you with hatred and scorn? And you know that it is only so this person can rationalize their own actions?

I am sure there are people out there who may have found it difficult, may even have found it impossible, to forgive me for past sins. I hope they can, for their sakes, not mine. I have certainly committed enough...for two lifetimes. But that is ancient history, and more importantly, has nothing whatsoever to do with the present. Happily I am no longer that person. I know that I have been Forgiven because I have been so blessed in every aspect of my life. As my late friend said, "I am blessed every day."

So, knowing this, how do I forgive what feels impossible to forgive? How do I not? But how do I? I don't have the answer yet.

Only the first

Yesterday morning I had my first sewing lesson. When I entered my friend's home, the delicious smell and the warmth welcomed me in out of the brutal cold. I had flashbacks to walking into my Aunt Minnie's farmhouse kitchen as a child to the wonderful aromas of her cooking and the heat from her old wood cookstove. My friend had just taken a cinnamon coffeecake from the oven and the smell was incredible.

We chatted a while and inspected the various remnants that I had brought before getting down to work. Her instructions were clear, concise and easy to follow. Once I had cut out all the pieces, she suggested we take a break and have our coffee and cake. We did so in the coziness of her sewing room by the little wood stove while she told me a story about J as a boy. We laughed a lot.

She taught me how to use the machine and how to place each piece and how to line them up with the right notch on the foot as I stitch them together. As we worked, she included many little hints and shortcuts that made the job run smoothly and quickly. It seemed so easy; before I knew it, I had a beautiful apron. Needless to say, I felt quite proud of my accomplishment.

My friend is a good teacher and a lot of fun to be around. She graciously showed me the rugs that she braided and the quilts she had made and I felt humbled by her talent and the craftsmanship that went into each piece. She encouraged me to keep up the good work and to come back for more projects and I know I will; although I left with the confidence that I will be able to make another apron all on my own.

A Powerful Tool

Have been receiving some feedback, so far all positive. Of course, it has been from family and friends, so there may be a slight element of bias. You'll have to decide that for yourself.

Want to share part of an e-mail message from my son, Jon, who is a middle-school teacher in Kansas. We were having a discussion about writing and blogging and he wrote, "... truly believe that writing leads to insightful understandings of life, a wisdom that is found within. It seems that blogs are a powerful tool to "push the pen" and on one hand it is a collective product and every so often a composition is discovered and crafted that stands alone." 

Now, you'll probably say that I am biased also, and you'd be right. But, I think you'll have to agree that that is a cogent and intuitive piece of writing. Jon is an incredibly imaginative writer himself who publishes his poetry online at:  http://poetrypoem.com/cgi-bin/index.pl?sitename=ephraimsgarage&item=home  I'm so proud. And he's probably going to hate this, so I'll quit now. Although I have to add this picture of him and his youngest.

Isn't she something? I absolutely love this picture taken a year and a half ago. 

Back to the discussion at hand. I do agree with everything he said, especially that blogging is a "tool" or stimulus to keep you writing. And when you discover that there are people actually reading it, that stimulus becomes even more intense, albeit a bit daunting. I feel a responsibility comes with that knowledge. Each time I post, do I need to ask myself, "Does this have any value?" "Will this make a difference to anyone out there?" Maybe I do not have to. What do you think?

Dementia deterrent?

 Another little snippet from Parade Magazine, by Dr. Ranit Mishori, "Exercise Your Brain Online," Jan. 10, 2010. (I promise, this is not the only thing I read; although it is the first thing I read from the Sunday paper.)  It seems a new study (authors unnamed) shows that surfing the internet may be a good exercise for the brain, "in older adults," and "may even delay the onset of dementia."

Well, if that is true, how much more so would be blogging. Thinking of what to say and how to say it is definitely exercise for the brain. Plus, once you have written your own post, you'll more than likely surf through the "Next Blog" button to read others' blogs or will check out those that you regularly follow. That's a double whammy of exercise. So if an almost-64-year-old was looking for a reason to keep writing, I'd say that is a pretty good one. Especially since my mother's mind slipped into dementia in her last decade or more of life. It is a frightening prospect, I'll admit.

Blessings

"I am blessed every day." She said it often and meant it always. I was blessed to come into her life and she to mine a year before she passed on to her reward. Caring for this beautiful soul was one of the greatest joys of my life. I actually looked forward to going to work each day; it felt more like visiting and helping a friend than work. This lady held the most positive attitude toward life I've ever seen. She wasn't a pollyanna, but she found beauty and blessings in every day and nearly all people. She had many sayings that I have shamelessly appropriated. Besides the above there was "pretty, pretty, pretty," which she'd say whenever she looked out the window no matter the weather.  Of course it was true since she lived on an old farm on the side of a hill surrounded by rolling fields and forest with a great view of Mt. Washington and the White Mountains of NH. She taught me so much.

While writing this it has occurred to me that these are the same things that my mother tried to teach me growing up, but I didn't want to listen then.

New look

Trying out a new look, or rather a very old one. The process is quite a learning experience. We'll see how long it lasts; maybe I'll try a new one next month. It's kind of fun, but takes a long time. Hope you'll tell me what you think.

Simply mindboggling

As I surf around the blogworld, it is becoming brilliantly clear to me that I have much more to learn about blogging, the internet, computers and my usage of each. Mindboggling to say the least. Hopefully, I will not let it scare me off. As a much more talented writer and sophisticated blogger, Beth, http://hellorhighwaterwriter.blogspot.com/ , said, "Just write." That is good advice that I'll try to follow. Just keep writing and let the rest take care of itself.

Over the coming year, I'm going to write about many of my interests; for example, woodburning, carving, walking. Of experiences and things learned, of people I've known (don't worry, no names). And hope at least a few of you will find something interesting here. I welcome all comments and questions which I will answer if I can. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you'll come again.

Lesson learned.

Note to self: do not buy fish at the butcher shop, at least not this one. $15 worth of fish and scallops thrown in the trash because it was SO not fresh. I know, I should have taken it back and demanded my money back, but I chose to chalk it up to a lesson learned. Figure I should have known better anyway. Don't believe that a butcher shop should smell that bad, so we won't be returning. It's sad because it is new in the neighborhood and I was excited about having one nearby. Oh well.

My daily prayer

Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of this day and for helping me be a blessing to all I meet. Thank you for blessing me and J and (each member of our families by name). Thank you for saving our souls and keeping us from harm, or from doing any harm. Thank you for leading us from temptation and protecting us from evil. Thank you for our daily bread. Thank you for forgiving our sins and for helping us to forgive the sins of others. Thank you for healing our sick, in spirit, mind and body. Thank you for granting us the love, joy, peace and wisdom that can only be found in you. Thank you for answering my prayer that I make in Jesus's Name. Amen.

Question marks

Not really a fan of this editing program, seems to do crazy things all on its own. I set the font & size and space and when I hit the publish button, it comes out different every time. One of the posts I've edited several times trying to get it right and each time there is more space between the title and the body and between the body and footer. ????? what's up with this? I'm such a non-geek. I guess it doesn't really matter.


Chores are done, my birds fed, the stew is delicious as always and the cat is still asleep on the rug. What a life. Enjoying a glass of wine to celebrate it.

Nothing but food and fun

Housework done, venison stew cooking on the woodstove, cat sleeping on the rug, watching the Barefoot Contessa and the sun is shining. Another good day. Do have to confess, J made the stew as he always does. I peeled the potatoes and a few carrots, that's it. Now my job is to watch it and not to let it burn since J has gone to work; already added the potatoes so I'm pretty much done.
Have to go to the butchers for some fish, yes, fish because remember I have to eat healthier. With a freezer full of venison and a partner who prefers red meat and potatoes, I have to introduce the white meat and fish to the house if I want any. As it should be.
Then off to the farm for a few chores and to my house to find my mat cutter so I can frame up a family picture for J's mom. Love this woman, 97-yrs-old and sharp as a tack; it is fun to listen to her stories of J and his sibs growing up.
Ok, times a wastin'. Later.

Spirits revived

Went for a 3-mile walk today and it felt so good to be able to enjoy fresh air and sunshine again. And no wind. So what if you have to watch for traffic and jump into snow banks to avoid being splashed or run over because there are no sidewalks. It is still worth every second. 
Yesterday I spent mostly in bed recovering from too much rich food for too long and my gall-bladder rebelled. So back to being careful. or at least more careful than I have been for the past few weeks. That's alright, the holidays were worth it; spending quality time with loved ones is always worth it. But, for now, no more cheesecake, no more lobster stew or dreamy, creamy French toast breakfast casserole, no more bacon, pumpkin pie or J's wonderful steak. Oh, it has been a glorious two weeks. At least I have my memories.

For anyone who may think this will be a blog about New Age ideas due to my title, Spirit of the Dragonfly, I say either, don't worry it's not, or sorry it's not. Depending on what one is looking for. I just have always felt a deep connection to the dragonfly and they are special to me. My Blackfeet ancestors might tell me that the dragonfly is my spirit guide. That would be nice; I'd like to think so. This is the closest I get to New Age. The First Nations believe that every living thing has a spirit. Well actually that all things have a spirit, because rocks also have spirit to them. I don't know, maybe they do; I have a deep affinity for rocks as well, as did my mother. Anyway, my point being that these beliefs were held centuries before the so-called New Age came along. I guess I sound as though I am disparaging the New Age phenom. Don't mean to be; it's just not for me.

Riding the elephant

After reading Sunday's PARADE magazine article, Make Changes That Last, by Chip & Dan Heath, Jan. 3, 2010, I realized that the elephant (the emotional side of my brain) has pretty much ruled my life so far. I haven't been as strong a rider (the rational, analytical side) as I could have been. Knew I should have taken riding lessons instead of singing lessons as a youngster. 
Wonder which side intuition would come under, emotional or rational. Can anyone tell me? Actually, I believe that intuition is just another word for God's voice/guidance as is conscience. Same thing. Simply always trust and follow your intuition and you can't go wrong.  

New year, new beginning, new blog

Got to give it a try. We'll find out if this old woman has
anything to say or not. I really don't know. Probably,

that is not the way to establish reader confidence; 

however, it is honest. And I have to be that, or this is 

a worthless endeavor. As this is the beginning of a new

year and a new decade, hopefully it is a good time to 

begin a new blog. 

I've had a few new starts in my life and I'd like to think

that my character, my soul, my spirit and my wisdom 

have improved at least somewhat with each one. Taking

the risk of sounding a bit cliché: but, if we are paying 

attention, we truly can learn something new everyday. 

Yesterday, I watched the movie, JULIE & JULIA, and loved

it. I certainly don't expect anything like that to happen

to me, but it will be a new experience and that has to be

a good thing. I will ask the Lord to guide my ideas, my 

writing and my postings and go from there. How can 

one go wrong with that?