Walking to a different standard

Haven't been here in a while. I just told my sister that it was because there is so much to do and so little time. Then said, no, be honest. I've just been lazy and not up to the task of working my thought processes as I should be. I really have no valid excuse other than it is too easy to find something else (or nothing) to do.  I saw a quote yesterday (and can't remember where or who by) that essentially said, saying 'I don't have time' is no excuse.

Time can always be found for what is important to us.  We just have to stop wasting it elsewhere.

Anyway, I was just reminded of an article in one of our local papers when I was looking over the feeds from blogs that I'm supposed to be following (but who has time?). One of them had something about "Clothes make the man..." and this reminded me of said article about the fact that this coming weekend a group of women (and some men) are planning to walk down Congress Street in Portland nude from the waist up. Their reasoning being they want to show their non-acceptance of the old double standard. They say, "if it's alright for a man to walk around without a top, then it's okay for a woman."

Aside from the fact that it could still be quite chilly on Saturday next, (it is still March, people, after all) I find this quite funny. No less for the fact that I also read that President Obama is planning a visit to Portland on the same day. I don't think there is any connection between the two events. It sounded like the nude walkers had planned this before any knowledge of the President's visit was made known. I can't help wondering if he has been told of the planned walk and if so, what his thought's were/are. Hope he gets a giggle out of it, as I have. Heaven knows, after the year he's had, he could use one.

I have a few other thoughts about the "if it's okay for the man, it's okay for the woman" rationale. Many years ago, I used that same rationale to condone my own foolish actions, namely, sleeping with whomever I pleased whenever I pleased wherever I pleased. And I pleased way too much.  My thinking, I'm not living by anybody's double standard, if a man can do it and everybody says, he's just being a man, then nobody has a right to say anything about me. I never stopped to think, hey, it is NOT okay for a man, they just tell themselves it is. It was naive, selfish thinking on my part. Thank goodness I snapped out of it.

There are many double standards still very much alive and well in this world, e.g. standards thought to hold for men and not women; for Republicans and not Democrats (and vice versa); for so-called Christians and not any other religion (and vice versa) and so on, and so on. We just have to see them for what they are: rationales for whatever person or group to use to condone their own bad behavior while condemning that of others. We simply have to be true to ourselves and to our God.

Early Spring Energy

Just sitting here with a glass of wine/brandy (the name of it is "Roughshod" by Blacksmiths, a Maine vintner. It is made with "wild Maine blueberries delicately blended with (grape) brandy." A sweet port wine and I find it delicious. The bottle says "A wine to "get a grip."" Actually I bought it because I loved the name, "Roughshod." Kind of how I feel right now. I can't believe what a busy and productive day I have had.

It began about 6:15 this morning when I came downstairs after J went to work at his part-time job (two mornings a week). First I started the fire in the fireplace stove, then made my coffee and began making doughnuts. Wanted to have fresh ones to share with J's sister when she came for my sewing lesson. Once they were done, I took a quick shower. While I was still in the tub, C called to say she couldn't come today because of a family crisis, not serious. Up to this time, I had been scurrying around trying to get done before she came. So I exhaled and slowed down the pace. Time to have a cup of coffee and a couple of doughnuts with the morning paper.

In between all this I'm letting first one, then the other cat either outdoors or onto the porch (one is an outdoors cat, the other an indoor cat) then back in again. They are always on the wrong side of a door it seems. Just like kids.

Of course, I'm also constantly feeding the fire. Next, I take the wood carrier and it's off to the garage across the driveway to haul in firewood.  After both boxes are filled, it is time to start thinking about lunch. J will be home to eat and hopefully relax a bit before going to his full-time evening job. Both his jobs are extremely physical and labor intensive, so I want to do as many of the home chores as I can to help him.

The spaghetti sauce is almost done by the time he arrives so we can sit and enjoy lunch together. Then he enjoys a chance to relax and read the paper while I clean up. After he again leaves for work, I cut out an applique for an apron that I'm making and realize that the material for the pocket on which the applique is going needs to be washed. So I do a load of reds and hang out on the line.

Done with this I notice the old rose climbing vine is a real mess and so I get the clippers and attack the old dead canes, training the green ones onto the latticework and generally "neating up" the whole flower garden area. Kit Kat, the indoor one, is on the screened-in porch going mad jumping from window to window watching every move I make outside. I know she wants to come out and join me, but she's never been allowed outside and I know J doesn't want her out, so far be it from me to be the one to let her out.

By now, it is time to check the sap buckets. After gathering around eight to ten gallons, I fill a pail with the grain/pellet mixture J makes up and go out back to feed the deer. They don't really need it now, but we still have quite a bit in the barrel and they are still coming, so-oo-oo.

Back in the house, put a log on the fire, check the cats. Both are sleeping finally. Get my glass, open the wine, boot up the MacBook and voila!  Nice day. Spring has sprung. Feeling good. I am blessed every day.

Although, I keep getting this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something, something else that I did today. Oh well. If so, it'll come to me eventually.

It is now exactly 6:15 pm.

Queen of the hill

We are trying to introduce our cat, Lacy, the stray we took in at J's, into this house (his mother's) with his mother's cat, Kit Kat. She is about 7 and has been queen of the hill all that time and she wants nothing to do with poor Lacy. She chased Lacy into the bedroom closet and I had to chase Kit Kat out of the room. Boy, she spit and growled at me; she wanted to attack me, I could tell, but she didn't. She is quite a spitfire that one. Poor Lacy didn't come out of the back of that closet all afternoon, but she is now laying on the bed in that little room. We've closed her in there for a while on the advice of the vet. She has her own box and food/water in there. He said for about a week anyway we should do this and let them sniff each other through the doors. One door is open about an inch w/a brick doorstop on the inside holding it and the other door into the living room is a folding louvered door. Hopefully this will work. J is not very optimistic, but I think it will eventually work. I hope that it will.

If you have any advice on this venture, please, I welcome any and all.

Changes

It has been two weeks of changes, both bad and good. First, J's mother's passing and our gradual move to the homestead. Missing her keen wit and helping family members claim photos and small treasures that they or their children had given Gram. Making small changes here and there, settling in. Making big changes, moving furniture; buying a new mattress. Planning more changes; discussing renovations, a new, bigger, flatscreen TV, new microwave. Today I bought a new dishpan, but it is too big, so have to take it back and get the smaller one. I knew it was a mistake, but thought I had to try it anyway.

Last weekend, got to see a good friend whom I had not seen in over 40 years. It was a true pleasure; we are both extremely excited about the idea of seeing each other much more often now that she and her husband have built a second home (their retirement home) in the area. The timing couldn't be more perfect as I've lost two good friends in the past two years, so it is especially gratifying to reconnect with an old friend and one that I loved so much. Life is good. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Passages

What an honor and a privilege to be with a friend at the time of her death. To have had the opportunity to give her the best care I could possibly give in the last few weeks of her life, to have shared in her thoughts and feelings, her laughter and her frustrations as well as her hopes, was such a blessing to me I have to give thanks.

I said "her death" and not her passing because this is what she believed. She said many times that she wasn't passing on or passing over, not going to be with anyone over there. "When I'm dead, I'm dead, that's all." And she was okay with this; she was ready and not afraid. I cannot feel sorry for her because she lived a very long life (97) and she lived it her way. She knew who she was, what she liked and what she wanted. She was good hearted, strong willed and sharp as a tack, right to the very end. I only feel sorry for her many family members who miss her so terribly.

Another reason I do not feel sorry for her is because I do not agree with her belief that she would not pass over to another life and be with God and her loved ones. I am sure that she is with them and that she is joyfully surprised to be there. One cannot love as much as she did, or be loved as much as she was and not be There. God bless and keep you, dear friend.